Married with kids
by HeiKitsune
Summary: Byleth is the new teacher of the Officer's Academy, and the staff can't help but be curious about him. Though finding out who his wife is may have been wiser to keep it a secret.


**Married with kids**

**Summary: Byleth is the new teacher of the Officer's Academy, and the staff can't help but be curious about him. Though finding out who his wife is may have been wiser to keep it a secret. **

**Tags: SFW, Humor**

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Married with kids

"He's really creepy."

The kendo teacher of the Officer's Academy, Catharine glared at the young man looking through his student's papers in the teacher's lounge.

The tall, lightly tanned woman leaned against the wall next to the coffee machine, with her arms cross and bright blue eyes burning down the week-old new teacher to the school. The dark-haired woman who looked ready to throw Catharine out of one of the windows with force of her rolling eyes alone is her friend the archery teacher, Shamir.

"No. Your just so crazy about your girlfriend that anyone looking in her direction is going to get their head tore off by you…" Shamir sighed as she gave the new teacher a small look of sympathy.

He looked calm and relaxed as he looked through his papers from his class. His short hair hanging nicely just above his eyes and framed his sharp, cool face nicely. However, he didn't exactly look all that handsome with his clothes looking unorganized and disheveled from his rushed morning to get to work. The reason for Catharine's heated glare at the young man is his close relation to one of the headmasters of the school, and her girlfriend Rhea.

Though all Catharine saw was Rhea speak to him kindly one time and the woman was already on the attack.

"Like…I am sure he's killed someone before." The woman narrowed her eyes at the youngest and newest member of the school's faculty Who looked like he had jumped through the bushes.

~GGGRRROOOWWWLLL~

And who is utterly starving it seems.

"Oh, there's no harm in the strong silent type." Manuela purred with a saucy lick of her lips. The music and social studies teacher purred as she looked down the table at the young man like he was a piece of meat. The down eyed, short chestnut, haired beauty is always on the prowl for potential lovers. Always looking her best at every moment even now as she sat in the lounge.

"He actually looks like my type." The older woman looked ready to kidnap the young man and drag him into some unknown lair.

"A book with the words man written on it is your type." Hanneman, the seasoned and curious scientists of the school, rolled his eyes as he turned the page of his book. Hiding his beard mustached face in his book. Giving a small adjustment to his monocle as he turned the page.

"Hmph!" However, that got him a melon bun thrown at his face.

Begin the newest addition to the staff at the world-renown officer's Academy, Byleth has gained a lot of attention. Which makes sense given he the strangest= person here. Quite with a stoic and unreadable expression, he looks like some sort of assassin. Though there is some handsomeness too him. The times he is seen smiling talking to the other female students, they are always seen blushing themselves.

He is the definition of a man with a strange past. It doesn't help that he is nearly the same age as some of the students here at being twenty-two and that his father, Jeralt is a retired bodyguard for the mysterious lady Sothis and her family.

He is made one of the main teachers for the big three house that study here. The Black Eagles, Blue lions, and the golden deer. However, he has no special field. If anything, he seemed to be a jack of all trades and master of nearly all them. He's the substitute for Catharine and Shamir for combat classes, he knowledge on the sciences and history of the world is on nearly on par with Hanneman. The only thing he isn't that good at is singing.

Which was lucky for Manuela who was starting to worry about him taking all their jobs. And it didn't help that the students, especially the three heads, have taken quite the shine to him.

"I just don't get why Rhea and Serios just let this…rando walk in here." Catharine grumbled as she narrowed her eyes at the new teacher. "And he's hair stupid."

"Oh, for god's sake…." Shamir rolled her eyes and just walked up to the young man. As much as she cares of her kendo loving friend, her love and over protectiveness for her girlfriend can get on her nerves at times.

"Hey." Shamir nodded as she greeted the new teacher, who greeted her with a nod.

"So, your Byleth huh? Shamir. Archery teacher." Shamir leaned on the table a little as she spoke. "So, what do they have you here for?"

"I teach the main three houses," Byleth answered politely.

"Must be tough." The stoic woman smirked. "I hear all three of them have rather…. unique personalities."

"Hmmm…" Suddenly the young man looked very tired. Getting a small chuckle from Shamir as she watched him age three years.

"So Byleth." Manual practically slide herself up against the young man's shoulder with a low purr in her voice. Let's say after this long day of guiding our students, me and you go- "

However as soon as she saw the sparkle of the wedding ring on his finger, all sense of seduction died from the singer's lips.

"Oh…your…married. Great…" Manuela sighed. As she grumbled under her breath, "It's always the cute ones."

"Oh, you have a wife?" Catharine stepped up with a friendly smile.

Ignoring Shamir rolling her eyes. "Oh, so once he's not a threat your all smiles huh?"

"Yes," Byleth said. "Me and my wife been married for a few years now. Though she is older than me."

"How old? Like what three, four years?" Catharine asked genuinely curious and friendly now that she knows she has on less thing to about Byleth to worry about.

But, before Byleth could answer the door to the faculty room slid open.

"Ah, there you are." What looked to be a young girl playing housewife walked into the room. Long green hair, tied in large pigtails, that seem to hover just above the ground. Though they aren't that long given she was only tall enough to be eye level with Byleth's mid-section, she looked up at him with a stern glare. She looked to playing house with her cute white cat apron over her dark blue sundress. But the age in her deep forest green eyes spoke massive volumes as they told stories that are far beyond anyone in the room.

"Honestly forgetting your lunch like that. How scattered brained were you this morning?" It doesn't help that she speaks like an old woman. Form the middle ages.

"Sorry. My alarm didn't go off for some reason." Byleth walking over to greet the young…. woman (?) only adds to the surrealness of the scene. "So, I was in a rush."

"I'll say. Your shirt is as disheveled as your hair. And you look like your face…honestly…." She got a chair from behind him and stood on it. Finally, eye level with him, she started to fix his tie, hair, and clothes. Looked like a doting mother than a child as she shuffled his hair and cleaned his suit form lent.

"Do you want the students to make a mockery of you?" The young girl sighed. "You are a teacher at world's top academy. Please do well to look the part. For you certainly do not act it."

It should have sounded like scolding. It is someone taking a scolding. But toe everyone in the room it sounded like flirting. The way the girl cutely puffed her cheeks as she fixed hair and the smile on Byleth's face made it look less like a random girl fretting over him, and more like wife teasing her husband. And judging from the similar, lovely ring on her finger, it's clearly the latter.

Which only caused everyone else in the room to sweat harder.

"Do you want to go somewhere tonight?" Byleth asks suddenly as the girl finished fixing his tie.

"Ack!?" The green-haired girl jump and turned red at his sudden words. However, she quickly regained her composure and coughed lightly in her hand. The blush on her face stinging. "Y-You and your brazen request…But yes. A night out would be nice."

Going back to his clothes, the girl started flattening his curled collared. "There is the new sushi place down the road I heard of. I would love to try out their tuna."

"Then it's a date. I'll- "A firm, but dainty hand on his lips silenced the young teacher.

"You paid for our last night out. And the night before. And the seven nights before that. Let me handle the check this time. It is not like am not affluent enough for it." Her green eyes are but kind as she spoke. That teasing aura gone from her is replaced with a more mature on far form her looks.

"Hm." To the outside eye, Byleth only seemed to grunt in disapproval. But to the girl standing on the chair in front of him, she understood his frustration well.

"Cease your pouting." She gave him a playful flick on the head as she chastised him. "I will not think any lesser of you if you rely on me from time to time. Nor should you care what others think of you."

The teacher sighed but nodded known the less. Knowing that arguing with her would get him nowhere.

"Now then." Finished stepped down from the chair. Looking up proudly at Byleth who, while looked cleaner, also had a hairstyle that looked like he came from the fifteen hundreds. "There are choirs to be done and you have bright minds to teach."

However, as she turned, she is met with the wide eyes and gaped jaws of the rest of the staff at the school. Even Shamir looked rather a god smacked with her blinking a few times to register what she was seeing.

"Ah…I should say something here…" The young wife(?) coughed awkwardly "Ahem. Um…k-Keep up the good work. And er yes that'll do."

And like that opened the door and left. Leaving Byleth with his lunch box and his peers a million questions.

"Please tell me that wasn't your wife you said is older than you." Manuela said with utter dis-belief eyes. "That has to be like, your younger sister, right? Your daughter?"

"W-Well, there are cases where women look very childlike but are exceedingly older then they appear…." Hanneman tried to use logic to help understand the situation even if he still looked very uncertain. "But I still can't help but feel a bit…uneased."

While the opera singer and historian tried to think of a logical reason as to why Byleth's so-called wife looks the way she does.

"For. God's. Sake! Put the damn phone down Catharine!"

Catharine is wrestling her phone with Shamir. The kendo instructor mere seconds away from calling the police.

"I knew something was off about him! No way a girl that young is that creep's wife!

"Would you stop freaking out already!" Shamir was showing surprising strength as she pulled the back to her.

"Oh, mother! We didn't expect to see you here." Hearing the voice of her girlfriend, Catharine rushed out of the room to warn her and her mother about the creepy new teacher. Shamir followed her out less to stop her and more to smack some sense into her. Manuela poked her head to see the drama unfold, while Hanneman did the same to sedate his own curiosity as, like the others, they've never seen this so-called lady Sothis that is Rhea and Serios's mother.

"Rhe…a?"

Only to seem them talking to Byleth's so-called wife.

Looking at it now, it would be hard to believe that Serios and Rhea aren't Sothis's daughters given how the girls are a spitting image of their mother. Both of them have lovely long green hair and dark emerald eyes. Though the twins are a different as night and day in more than just personality. Even calling them twins in is a bit of a stretch given how kind and motherly Rhea is, and how sharp and harsh Serios can be.

With Rhea wearing a simple dark blue blouse and kind smile, and Serios sporting a fitting black business suit, having them stand next to each other is like looking at the sun and moon. And having them together with their mother is like looking at the sun, moon and random rock.

Both Serios and Rhea always speak highly of their mother, Lady Sothis. Calling her a beauty beyond words. A wise, and powerful woman that could bring countries to their knees.

"Byleth forgot his lunch." Not someone who is four feet three inches and looked like they should be just getting into middle school.

"Somehow his alarm didn't go off. You both saw how he was rushing this morning." Sothis sighed though not in anger.

"Oh dear…." Rhea gasped in surprise. "It's rare for Father to have such a misstep."

"You should have left that man to starve." Serios barked as she crossed her arms.

Rhea sighed as she put the pieces together. Giving her sister a stern stare. "Serios. Father's clock has not once missed its timing. And you were a little late this morning- "

"Are you accusing me of tampering with that fool's clock Rhea?" Serios snorted in defiance at her sister. "He is a mess of a thing to being with. You and mother see how childish he acts. I give him another week before he either quits or dose something horrendous enough to get himself fired."

However, that got a stern glare from their mother. A glare that didn't belong to a young girl, but someone with years of experience far surpassing anyone in the school. It made, even the mighty Serios, the dragon headmistress of the Academy shrink down.

"We've been through this, my child. While I understand you have reservations about my and Byleth's union, that does NOT allow you to undermine and demean him in any way. And when has there ever been a time, he has ever shown an ounce of aggression towards you or any member of our clan. And do not lie, child, for I will know. Unless you think your mother has gone mad in her old age?"

"…" Serios wisely kept her head down and her mouth silent.

"Look at me, my dear daughter." Rising her head, Serios met a gaze fiercer then any beast the human mind could come up with. Cold and unrelenting, the disappointed and angry glare form her mother cut her down swiftly.

"Pull something like this again and there will be consequences. Do I make myself clear?"

"Y-Yes mother…" Feeling like a child against Serios voice shrunk and shook.

Seeing her daughter feel so helpless, Sothis relaxed her gaze. Trading it in for a softer one, "Oh come now. I am no dictator or cartoonish villain. Speak your mind Serios. I am always willing to listen."

"It's just….He reminds me so much of…_that man_. I am worried he's using you like _he_ was before." The headmistress said. "I understand he is…special in some ways, and you have been keeping an eye on him since before his birth. But he's as common as possible and his only real special skills are his ability to teach. And he's so…cold. Like death. I can not bring myself to trust him like you and everyone else can mother."

"That is, my dear daughter, is because you do not wish to understand him." The mother smiled warmly.

"Yes, he does have many of the traits like your despicable father." Sothis nearly spat at the ground as she spoke of the man.

"Byleth also has none of the bad." Talking of her lover got Sothis to smile as she put herself back into the many moments her and Byleth have shared. "Byleth is a fine man. There is nothing uncouth about him. He is kind. Caring. A bit childish yes, but that is a part of his charm. And brave. So brave that he'd face the whole world if it meant keeping our family safe. You may not have seen it, but I have. I see it every day in his eyes."

However, as she placed her hand on her cheek, her face turning a little red and…. strangely too happy smile grew on her lips, it was clear her thoughts turned to more…intimate matters. "He's gentle. Mmmm…. but not too gentle…"

"U-Um…mother?" Rhea coughed to bring her mother back to Earth.

"Oh!" With her blush growing bigger, as she realized she was starting to drool, Sothis brought the conversation back to focus. "B-Be that as it may, while I am grateful for your watchful eye, Byleth is the last men to every wish harm on any of us. Speak to him for a time and you'll understand."

Giving a polite bow, Serios said. "For your sake mother, I will try."

"Good girl." Sothis beamed. "Now tell me your goodbyes."

Both daughters lowered themselves to give the small mother a goodbye kiss on the cheek.

"You all have work to do and so do I. Those choirs will not do themselves. Have a safe day."

"Yes, mother." The twins said simultaneously as shethey watched their mother walk down the halls of the school.

"…She's taken to the role of a housewife with too much enthusiasm." Serios sighed after a while.

"I will be heading home early to…try and salvage our home." Rhea gave an uneasy, but happy smile. "And Serios."

"Yes, yes I know." The dragon of the school sighed. "I won't make any promises, but I'll try to make amends with that…man."

She sent a small sharp glare at her sister. "It does not help that you and Seteth are smitten with him as well."

Rhea laughed good-naturedly as she responded. "Well Seteth grew to trust him as well, but mother is right. Byleth is not that sickening man that tricked our mother. He cares for all of us very deeply. Just speak to him and you'll see."

"It'll be like talking to a corpse…but I'll try." Serios didn't trust her resolve but if it's for her mother, she can do anything.

"Speaking of people, I need to warm up to, how are things between you and Catharine? I can tolerate her mother than him at least." The conversation continued a bit more of a brighter note as they entered a classroom.

"…." Leaving everyone, peaking their heads out of the teacher's lounge in the same place they were before; shocked and more than a little bemused. Before swinging their heads to Byleth looked at them with his head leaning a little to the side. Looking more a bewildered hound then the man married to the most powerful woman in the world.

"Your married to lady Sothis!? That's lady Sothis!?" Hanneman looked faint, confused, green and everything else all at once as he fell into his chair.

"Well, I'll be damn." Shamir, the most leveled headed of the three as always, only took a sip of her coffee in thought. "Didn't think that lady was a cougar. Although with her age…"

"That's her mother!?" Catharine, however, seemed to have taken the biggest blow as all the information came and hit her hard in the face. "I mean when she talked about Rhea always said that her mother was some super amazing woman that no one could make. A sort of goddess! She looks like she's thirteen!"

"And she popped out a bunch of kids with that body. Damn more power to her I suppose…" Manuela shrugged as she took a bite of her melon bread. Getting rather numb form all the back to back shocking moments.

The kendo instructor then looked at Byleth and being to sweat as the realization of her previous actions hit her.

'I…I just called my girlfriend's dad a creep…oh shit.'

With a shaky smile, and sweating at least three buckets worth of her worry, Catharine turned to the young married man. "Um hey…that crack about your hair…think you could um let that slide…. Mr. Eisner?"

Setting his lunch box down, Byleth spoke rather absentmindedly "…I am a little thirsty actually- "

"I'll get you some tea!" Everyone watched as Catharine raced down the halls to buy Byleth something to drink as fast as possible.

"So…how long you plan on milking her guilt?" Shamir smirked as she sat down next to the new teacher.

"Just for today." The teacher said as he opened up his lunch box. Smiling at how disorganized it was.

There was clearly an attempt to make the rice have a red heart in it, but the whole thing is now read with what he assumed to baked, or fired judging form how black it was, chicken on the side. The vegetable still looked half-frozen, but at least they weren't so fresh there was still bugs and dirt around them.

While she may be a bad cook, Sothis is getting better. And she puts all her love in everything she makes. Byleth wouldn't dare throw away her cocking. Though she still needs to learn how to use the microwave a little better.

"…. I am guessing you do most of the cocking huh?" Shamir asked as she looked at him taking a bite of his meal.

"…. The chicken is cold."

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